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Showing posts from August, 2021

Crying as a weapon of manipulation?

As I grow into my role as a mom, I realise that there are two camps about toddlers' crying and whining. On the one hand, parents believe that toddlers have some episodes of fake crying in which they try to manipulate parents into doing what their toddlers want. On the other, parents believe that crying is a form of communication, especially for pre-verbal toddlers (the tantrums become less frequent as toddlers learn to say what they need). The parents who believe tantrums are "weapons of manipulation" (I actually heard someone say this) prescribe ignoring the behaviour. "Don't add fuel to the fire", so to speak. For example, if a toddler had a minor fall, parents should help the toddler brush themselves off and encourage the toddler to continue playing instead of showing sympathy or giving extra attention; otherwise, the toddler learns that each time he falls, his parent(s) will dote on them even more. The parents who believe that tantrums are a mode of comm