Separation anxiety begins

 

Gone were the days when I can just hand my son over to my parents or to my sister so I can eat or use the bathroom. I didn't hear complaints; he was a chill baby back then. These days, however, as long as I'm within three feet of him, he's jolly; but as soon as I'm out of sight (behind a door or a wall), I start hearing him cry out in protest, especially just before nap time and when he's hungry.

It's difficult to see him cry, knowing that he wants me to carry him, but I know that every baby has to go through this difficult developmental stage: when they start understanding the concept of "object permanence". This means that my son is realising that people and objects continue to exist even if they are not in the same room as him. Babies at this stage feel very vulnerable because their caretakers (their source of feelings of security and safety) left them where they don't feel safe... but the separation anxiety supposedly lasts only for a few minutes during the adjustment period with the new environment or the new caregiver... so after a few minutes of tears, babies are expected to return to their jolly selves again.

I've been reading The Wonder Weeks. According to the authors, separation anxiety shows up in Leap 5. This is the mental leap in which the baby starts to live in the "world of relationships", in which he/she learns about the distance between things and/or people. I agree with the authors because my son cries when he feels that I'm far away, even if I'm visible. With learning about distance, he also discovers that I can go far from him and he has no control over the situation... which leads to separation anxiety. However, because we sleep in the same room (and his crib is just a foot away from my bed), I haven't observed significant interruptions to his sleep (that is, he hasn't called out to me in the middle of the night more than two nights in a row). He probably wakes up, looks around, and finds me sleeping so he drifts off to sleep again.

Apparently, separation anxiety linked with object permanence lasts for two to three weeks. Sleep experts have several tips on how to help babies navigate through this stage: play peek-a-boo (in my case, "eat bulaga!"), follow your words with actions, keep goodbyes short, and allot for a long time of preparation. So far, peek-a-boo has elicited laughs from my son. I don't think that a long time of preparation is applicable to me for short trips to the loo, or even for the times when I had to go out of the house; what kind of preparation does a six-month-old who doesn't even speak yet need? 

Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I don't think that this separation anxiety will be that bad because I'm with him most of the time anyway. However, that might change if the separation anxiety happens at the same time as teething, or some other physical development (like crawling).