Ramblings on Grandparents' Day

What children need the most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humour, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies.

— Rudolph Guiliani 

I grew up hanging out with Lola Bats and Lola Estay. They didn't offer cookies like Rudy Guiliani must be doing with his grandkids, but they did fill our tummies with yummy bulanglang and pupur (dishes from Batangas), and chicken sandwiches and fried chicken (Lola Estay's specialities). I vaguely remember Lolo Bats because he passed away when I was five years old. I didn't spend a lot of time with Lolo Roman but I do remember slurping piping hot arroz caldo every time I visited his house. My grandmothers proved to be strong-willed women while I know more about my grandfathers' reputations rather than who they really were. 

I find my son and my nephew extraordinarily lucky to be doted upon by my parents: They are not the major childcare providers just like other grandparents, which—I think—is why they fully enjoy watching the two boys grow and learn without the responsibility of childcare. Perhaps, it's a do-over for the time they missed seeing me and my siblings grow because they were both working full-time and we spent time with our grandparents or the house help (during the times we had them). Moreover, the boys develop secure attachments with Mommy and Daddy; science has shown that it is important to the child to develop secure attachments to significant adults other than his/her parents. 

Aside from the secure attachment between child and grandparent, I find the two toddlers very lucky to be spending time with my parents because the kids have the opportunity to connect to their Filipino cultural heritage though they're living outside the Philippines. Nothing fancy... hearing the folk songs we grew up with and learning to speak Filipino are some ways that the boys are being exposed to Filipino culture. 

Speaking of language, Filipino words pepper my son's vocabulary albeit toddler talk (I am designated interpreter):

• sapatos = "apako"
• babâ = "baba"
• Lolo = "hi yoyo"
• Lola = "hi yoya"
• tinapay = "apay"
• kanin = "ayayi"
• karga = "kaga"

There are words that he doesn't say yet but definitely understands 

• paa
• ngipin
• dila

I digressed. Anyway, I thank my parents for helping me expose my son to the Filipino language. I hope that when he's in daycare and in school, he'll be immersed in it as well. 

I thank my parents for being my "mom village". They enjoy taking care of my son on the weekends while I sleep in, particularly when I'd be awake in the middle of the night, working on manuscripts or getting my son back to sleep (he sometimes wakes up in the wee hours). They also babysit when I need to go to appointments or job interviews. They pick up on chores that I can't do while I juggle being a full-time stay-at-home mom by day and a freelance technical writer at night. And most importantly, they are there to give me a hug or a pat on the back; their encouragement was the light on my path when the early days of parenthood were as dark as the Tulgey Wood.

I thank my parents for guiding me in developing my own parenting style without encroaching. I've been reading about parenting and education philosophies since my son was born and realised, through my readings, that my parents are doing responsive parenting without realising it. And they're still at it now! As a former office colleague, Ana, once told me: my best resources in this parenting journey are my parents. But what I appreciate the most is that my parents provide pieces of advice and suggestions rather than impose their own parenting approach.

My son doesn't realise it yet because he's too young but he is truly a little prince. He may not be rich in gold (yet) but he's growing in a loving home with his grandparents giving us as much support as they can.

Thank God for grandparents!