Comparing babies: not such a good idea

Over the past few months, my mom village has expanded beyond my immediate family. COVID-19 wreaked havoc on the possibility of attending parenting classes so my extended support network is virtual. Fortunately, two of my friends from high school have given birth just a few weeks before and a few weeks after I gave birth, so we face the usual newborn-infant challenges at around the same time. We have become our own little support group.

It's very tempting to compare the three baby boys' development because they are about the same ages. However, we do it not for one-upmanship but to see if our kids are exhibiting normal behaviour for their age. See, when the internet proves to have too much conflicting information, it's time to see what actually happens in real life.

For example, one parenting website advises parents to sleep train their children to lengthen their nighttime sleep. The sleep training methodology described in this website says that when their infants cry in their cribs, the parents should stay outside the babies' closed bedrooms and comfort the baby through the door. How could anyone follow such nonsensical advice?!? Note that such advice goes against the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics: the baby and his/her parents sleep in the same room at night for at least six months. And then there's the issue of night-weaning; a conversation that should occur between the mother (or the primary caregiver) and the pediatrician. And yet, sleep consultants easily mention night-weaning as a complementary solution to the cry-it-out method.

Anyway...

Because each baby is different, the sleep and feeding behaviours of a cohort of babies of roughly the same age should not be compared. One baby, for instance, can be irritable and clingy this week because he/she is teething early while another baby of the same age won't even bother because his/her teeth have yet to erupt. As long as they behave and grow and reach milestones observed for a good number of babies of the same age, then everything should be okay.

I'd rather compare the gadgets and toys that the babies enjoy, as this is a means to get recommendations and testimonials about products. For instance, our babies are approaching or have overcome the first teething stage. Naturally, the conversation focused on how we regulate our children's emotions as they go through this challenging time and how they are reacting to teethers. I got asked about the teethers I bought for my son; they're children were still in the thick of teething while mine's two front teeth already erupted.